The Mystery of Middle Schoolers

There is a beauty to teaching Upper Elementary in a true Montessori environment. Whether within a full-elementary setting (6 to 12 year olds) or a separate UE (9 to 12 year olds), the final three-year cycle is a culmination of essential childhood. Upon entering first grade, students are faced with a world outside of themselves. They are required to be a part of a larger community navigating Care and Compassion, Freedom and Responsibility, Self and Others. There are opportunities to lead, opportunities to follow, and opportunities to grow in both roles. They begin with foundational academic skills and, in our advantageous pedagogy, use concrete materials to ensure their own success with abstraction later.

Upper El is a time for practicing and refining those skills. Polishing themselves and their practices into functional, contributing individuals in a safe environment learning through both achievement and failure. Not only this, but they foster the growth and development of their younger counterparts, able to connect and commiserate having already walked in those shoes.

As a Guide, it is easy to be proud of these students. Three years of working closely, sharing stories, surviving conflict and the fruits of all of the labor have ripened. The sixth graders can be heard giving advice (or redirection) to younger students with precise mimicry, and occasionally their own flare of not-fully-thought-out examples and metaphors. As academics, they hold the knowledge of three years of consumption; all of the a-ha moments and excited discoveries declaring not only that they “got it”!, but also that they now “get it”.

There are obviously some who don’t move out of sixth grade having fulfilled their truest 12 year-old potential. In these, you hope to have built enough of a foundation that it will, someday, click. We are, after all, elementary school teachers: the best for them better be yet to come.

Now, I find myself continuing guidance for some students beyond their Elementary cycle. Middle schoolers: yuck. Dr. Montessori’s model of human development warns of this period of dramatic growth and drastic change as these “young adults” enter a second toddler-hood. Was I educated with this knowledge? Yes. Was I prepared for the reality? Absolutely not! The ignorant bliss of thinking my sixth graders moved on to middle school retaining all of the knowledge I had helped them procure was a glorious fantasy, now shattered with nervous laughter and giggles of pure confusion.

I sit, with amazement and humility, and watch the wheels of thought squeak and squeal while my middle schoolers try to recall lessons that I know, and they know, that I gave them multiple times. I cringe and do a terrible job hiding my frustration when they tell me to wait while they come up with another wrong answer to something they would have answered correctly ten out of ten times just last year. The best part, the glimmer of hope, is the self-awareness that accompanies it as they apologize profusely and proclaim their equal discontent with the current state of things.

How does information and knowledge just disappear? How do the most reliable forget to bring a fork for their salad at lunch? How do these creatures who prefer the dark, skip showers, and ride a roller coaster of emotions survive these years of life at all?

Respect, Empowerment, Mindfulness, Grit, and Achievement

This stage in life is difficult enough as it is alone, so our role as educators and parents changes significantly. It demands, and they deserve, our respect and understanding first and foremost. We all went through it differently, survived it differently, came out of it differently - so will they. We need to be aware to take extra time, show extra patience, and provide extra love and care. Respect must still be demanded in return, but its presence in both directions allow for much more navigable seas.

They need to address their challenges, face their demons, walk their labyrinth. We need to be their hype-people and provide opportunities for small successes (Empowerment). They need to feel the thrill of overcoming difficulties, both internal and external. They need to embrace the exhaustion after accomplishment (Achievement). They don’t need everything to be easy. They don’t need the world to cater to them, even though they often think it should or else it “sucks” or they “don’t care” (Grit).

Mindfulness applies to everyone involved. Their personal practice of mindfulness, meditation, and other strategies to combat the chaos are very important. Reminders to them of how and when to be mindful of others, and reminders of when they are not, will help to connect them back to the reality that seems to be getting farther and farther away. Most importantly, our mindfulness as positive adult role models not only demonstrates this practice, but also reassures them that they are still loved the same as always, (even if they may not be liked the same as always all the time), and that we are here for them.

We become the anchor for the ship being tossed around by the storm. Will we be plucked up on occasion? Yes. Will we be dragged frequently through the muck and mud? Absolutely! Is it worth it? More than anything, both for us and them.

They will level out. The wisdom will return. The attitude will go away (a little at least). They will return, and better for it.

ALLways,

Ben